Why am I so nervous??

Man am I nervous. And what for? It's not like I'm in the path of Faye or anything dramatic like that. No. I am nail-biting nervous because I was given 19 choices for our next foster dog and now I'm sitting here second guessing my choice. Arg. This is what having options does to me. It throws me into a whirlwind of second guessing chaos. 

I chose Cowgirl (an awful name I know, we'll be changing that) a 12 year old Golden with arthritis who lives outside and has forever. For those of you who are aware of the climate in MN you know that being outside when it is 30 BELOW ZERO is not so good for the arthritis. I debated forever before I chose her, and now I'm all worried that Cody won't like her, she's too old for him to play with, he's going to pout and hate me forever. (No, I am not projecting my emotions....) I'm sure it will be fine. 

My whining wasn't supposed to be the whole point of this post. The point was supposed to be that we currently have 18 dogs on the waiting list and a ton more waiting in the wings to even be on the list. I swear most of them are either from foreclosures or divorce. I have spent the last 2 1/2 hours swimming in dogs. And not in a good way either. 

Just makes me glad that I have my own fuzzbutt whose space in our house will always be guaranteed. 

I'm losing a fur-baby tonight.

It's official. Jack was adopted tonight. Coming home to only one dog was by far one of the saddest things I have done in a long time. As a foster mom you always know it's going to happen, but that doesn't seem to matter. Every time I leave a dog behind with their new family, a little part of my heart stays behind. You know there are always other lives out there that need saving but at that moment all you know is that you are leaving one of your babies behind. That sucks. Especially when they look at you with those big eyes, asking you why you are leaving them behind. You know that in a week they will have fully acclimated to their new home and all will be well, but right now it hurts. Bad. 

He has a great new home and one that I am certain will stick this time. They are willing to make all the necessary changes to help him be the successful dog that he can be. He will have a great life. 

Another dog will worm his/her way into my heart, I know that. 

But for now, Cody and I are going to cuddle into Jack's favorite chair and mope a little. Because we can. 

"He slobbers too much"

That was the voicemail I got from C yesterday explaining why they weren't going to take Jack. 

"He slobbers too much."

Come on. Like you couldn't come up with something better??

In case we're keeping count, that would be application 14 that has rejected Jack.

14!

Bottom line: Big Jack is still gracing us with his lovely oversized self.

"Can I take him for a test drive?"

That is what a man, C, asked me on Monday when he came to look at Jack. He seemed like a really nice man and could be a perfect fit for Big Jack. Of course I'm pretty Jack could sense that this guy might take him away and did his best to look like a comatose piece of Jello. Great. Thanks pal. But back to my story. 

So C and I are chatting and hanging out with Jack in the front yard and all of sudden C goes, "Do you mind if I take him for a test drive and kick the tires a little bit?"

Huh?

I'm sure I looked like such an idiot, because I know I stared at him for a full 30 seconds with my mouth wide open. Seriously? Seriously.

I managed to stutter, "uh, yeah sure. Don't go to far I guess..."

I just sat there in an utter stupor going, Hmmm do I really want to give "my" dog to someone who talks about him like he's buying a used car??? 

He brought him back and said he needed to confer with his wife on the whole thing. He was a bit concerned on whether or not Jack was too laidback. (thanks for the Jack...) In my head I said, "oh buddy, you just wait until he is tearing around your house at 2am trying to play..."

Bottom line: C and his wife may be coming back tonight to check Jack out and see if they want to take him. Still not sure how I feel about it, but we'll see I guess. 

DH asked later if I would be this particular if I was adopting him out. 

I had to think about it. 

The sweet taste of success!

Last night I took the boys swimming and in a fit of trust (where it came from I don't know) I let Jack run into the lake off leash. To my surprise he stayed right where he was supposed to!!! I did a happy dance right there on the shores of the lake, to the enjoyment of the joggers and bikers I'm sure. This was Jack's first successful endeavor off leash. He didn't run away! I about fainted with joy. This is the dog that climbed 8 feet up a utility pole in the backyard in an attempt to get out of the fence. Oh course it helped that he knew I was hiding pepperoni in my pocket, but hey that is a step up from before. He used to know I had hot dogs in my pocket and didn't give a rat's behind, freedom was way cooler in his humble opinion. 

We start obedience tomorrow and paws crossed that we'll rock their socks off. 

This is a small victory I am logging. Hopefully this will bring us one step closer to finding him a new forever family. Because let's be honest here, if he doesn't get adopted soon I may just end up being a foster failure. 

I have a ton of pics of the two of them that I'll load up here soon I promise. 

Big Jack is still with us

Big Jack, or as we now call him Houdini, is still here. He has now managed to climb our 5 foot chain link fence 6 times, shimmied 8 feet up our utility pole and over our fence, jumped out the car window, and last but not least he broke through a 9 foot wooden privacy fence at his potential adopter's house. Needless to say they no longer wanted him. Oy ve. So 5 weeks and 9 potential families later he's still here. Which if we're being honest I'm ok with, I love him I really do. I am getting a bit tired of his escape tactics however. I'm getting a bit at my wits end as to what exactly I should do with him. So for now we just sit and wait and hope for the right family. DH set a deadline for Christmas. If he's still here by Christmas (Oh god help us if he is) he'll stay here forever. Which just tears me in two directions. I love fostering but if we keep Jack that can no longer happen and that just shoots an arrow in my heart. Then of course I feel guilty because I don't want to kick Jack out just for my own purposes. Arg, the emotions of fostering. Sometimes it sucks.